I am SO not into tabloidy stuff but this recent article in the South African Sowetan caught my attention… there was something instructive about it [in a subliminal kind way]! Especially since it pertained us girls…Black girls that is.
So off the bat, I am not here to talk about one of South Africa’s top socialites, KHANYI MBAU or her nemesis at this point, PRIMROSE CROUS. I do remember though, during my vacay back home, driving past Khanyi Mbau in her infamous drop-top Yellow Lamborghini, hair/weave blowing in the wind, on my way to Sandton [don't ask, I just know people, who know people]…anyway I digress!
Khanyi Mbau (l) & Primrose Crous (r) in friendlier times? – former girlfriends, BFF’s?
So what caught my eye with this whole drama (and it is alot of drama! Trust!) was the statement the man caught in the middle made! Ok, so let me first paint the picture for you…
Mrs. Primrose Crous (mom of 2, model, & businesswoman) – the wife
Mr. & Mrs. Theunis Crous (note his hand on her) – the married couple
The Crous Entourage (the cutest babies!) – the family
…and Khanyi Mbau (the self-proclaimed “Queen of Bling”herself) - – the jumpoff (allegedly)
But we are so not here to talk about the scandal as reported in the Sowetan!
So not! *rolling my eyes* Coz never mind the black Lamborghini which Theunis bought Khanyi last year complete with personalised number plates but later took back when his wife, Primrose found out about their “romantic liaison”! Only to replace the Lamborghini with a BMW Z4 a few months ago! Or the R10,000 rent payments made for Khanyi’s upmarket crib in Hyde Park.
I do not condone adultery. It is not cool and most importantly, for me & my beliefs, the Bible outlaws it. However, they are adults & I am pretty confident that they can handle this matter…civilly & privately.
What I did find fascinating was that according to the Sowetan, Theunis Crous, a 51 year old White South African who owns a Walmer-based Ho Hup Construction Company with his wife, Primrose, said for him and his white friends [presumably in South Africa], dating Black women was a status symbol.
“When you are my age, dating a black young woman like Khanyi is a thrill. When we were growing up, having an affair with a black girl was forbidden. We loved them but we could not date them.”
Very insightful statement especially in post apartheid South Africa. As you know, race relations in South Africa are so complex and deeply rooted given the country’s checkered racial history. However space & time does not permit a revisit of South Africa’s history.
I did want to deconstruct the statement “dating Black women was a status symbol” in order to allow for an environment conducive enough for us to discuss the matter of race & dating in new South Africa. I wanted to delve deeper to ascertain what that meant for Black girls on the continent & in the diaspora, if at all!
Certainly, if that’s the case then this broadens the dating pool for both Black’s & White’s in South Africa. At least for those that date outside of their race.
However, I am not entirely comfortable with the “status symbol” aspect of Theunis’ contention on us Black girls. Far be it from me to deny Theunis or for that matter, any White South African male their “primordial impulses” that drive their selection of their women. But just race as a status symbol? Seriously? That’s almost like a repackaging of the old formula. What happened to attributes such as values, belief systems, those intangibles that transcend race. Again, I am well aware that men are visual, so I am not saying ignore completely the physical!
While it is fun to know that Black girls are the new Black! Yayee, but what does that really mean for us? I really have no problems with interracial dating, been there, done that myself. However, there has to be more…for both sides. Otherwise, both sides are settling, one for race & the other for being a status symbol [and that gets boring after a while. Trust!]. And when the love boat is rocked, then a scandal of the above proportion erupts! Not pretty, especially if hearts & children are involved.
If this means that the dating dating scene has been reduced to a mere “status symbol”, then I am pretty sure, alot of us Black girls are not with that type of swagger! Rich White guy or not [I can just hear my BFF saying to me, Fa show me a millionaire & I will show you one happy chic *side eyes* to her!]
The swagger that I believe in, at least in terms of race & dating, goes beyond “dating Black women as a status symbol”. It is the type of swagger that affirms beyond your race, that you are beautiful, intelligent and wonderful and that you are worth fighting for [note that Primrose]. That you are worth more than being just a jumpoff [note that Khanyi]! That you look for a woman beyond her race as a “status symbol” and in marriage, you commit to her “til death do we part” [note that Theunis]
That is the swagger I can believe in!
Guys & dolls, please leave your comments below!
Heart ya for it!
ps…you have to agree that African girls are hot! Just sayin’
Copyright © 2013 Farai Today